I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
