I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
