drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
