You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
