Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
