you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
