At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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