The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
