You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
