i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
