the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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