remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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