I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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