Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
