her vagina looked like bernie madoff
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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