Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize