My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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