dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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