I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
