I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
