its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
