dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
this will be a night to untag.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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