What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
