He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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