I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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