im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
