I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
