you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize