Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.