Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle

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(281): View more from Texas

Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card

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(845): View more from New York

our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.

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(775): View more from Nevada

KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.

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