i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
