Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.