arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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