You work out of a Hotel?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
