Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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