please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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