so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
