if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
this hospital has no fireball
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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