at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No I am not eating basil off your cock
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
