I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
