I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
