Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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