I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
