Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
