Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.