Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
