god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
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The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
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Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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