oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize