I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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