you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
