I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Houston, we have a squirter
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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