Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
