I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
