Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize
