shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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