with your own penis?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
