i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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