it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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