Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
