so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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