Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Barsexuality is the new black.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
