i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
