Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
