he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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